It probably comes as no surprise that keeping the romance alive in a relationship requires effort. But often, when women feel their romantic relationships becoming stagnant, they blame the man in their life for not being romantic enough. So, it may be an eye-opener that 44% of men say it bothers them “a lot” that their wife or girlfriend isn’t more romantic, according to a study of 80,000 participants by Chrisanna Northrup.
So why not take the first big step, and give your man the romance he’s craving? Try the following ways to make him fall in love all over again, and reap the rewards of a renewed and lasting relationship.
Ways to Make Him Fall in Love
Be spontaneous. Spontaneity and routine are opposites. Routine, which typically sets in once a relationship is established, often leads to monotony. What keeps relationships alive early on is the excitement of spontaneity, which lends itself to discovery about each other and new things. When couples lose that spontaneity, life becomes routine and dull. So practice spontaneity, and do things on a whim with your partner to awaken the feelings you both felt early on in your relationship.
Write him a love note. It doesn’t have to be lengthy, although it could be. But just a simple “I love you” or “I can’t wait to spend time with you this weekend” placed in his lunch box is sure to make his day. If you’re good with words, write him a poem, or borrow one, and leave it on his pillow.
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Laugh at his jokes and with him. Men love to be funny, so no matter how corny his jokes, genuinely laugh when he’s trying to be funny, even if you have to laugh because he’s so corny. Not only will your laughter boost his ego, but it’s good for your relationship, too. But there’s more. Numerous studies, including a 2015 study by Laura E. Kurtz appearing in the Personal Relationships journal, have found shared laughter brings couples closer together. So look for opportunities to share laughter with your partner. Watch sitcoms, go to the comedy club, hang out with other fun couples, or just be silly with each other.
Physical affection. This is such a simple gesture and can be done anytime, any place. Hold hands when you’re watching TV or out and about. Kiss him on the cheek. When he’s sitting at the table, walk over and give him a shoulder massage. Pat him on the butt. Walk up from behind and wrap your arms around him. There are so many ways and opportunities to show your affection.
Make his favorite dinner. The adage goes, a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So go all out, and cook his favorite dinner and dessert. Also, don’t forget the candles, wine, and soft music.
Take him on a date. Make a plan to do something the two of you both enjoy but haven’t done in a while. Better yet, plan something special he particularly enjoys that you haven’t been keen to do with him in the past. Even if it isn’t your favorite activity, make the most of it, and let him know how much you enjoy seeing him happy and just spending time together. Do you need some ideas? Check out a sporting event, concert, or play. Visit a museum, or go golfing or bowling.
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Pay him a compliment. Everyone loves a compliment especially from a significant other. Tell him you love how that blue shirt brings out his dreamy blue eyes. Compliment his new haircut. Or let him know how much you appreciate his handyman skills. Look for genuine reasons to compliment him often.
Initiate sex. If your partner is the primary initiator of sex, your initiation will go a long way toward making your man fall in love all over again. Men need to feel desired as much as women do, according to a survey conducted by Sarah Hunter Murray Ph.D., reported in her article “Men Need to Feel Desired by Their Partners, Too.” So make it a practice to come on to your man more often.
Give him a gift. Men don’t place as much importance on receiving gifts as women do. Still, it can be a very romantic and meaningful gesture when done out of the blue. Look for something he’ll love such as tickets to a game, a favorite movie on DVD, or something useful for his favorite hobby or sporting activity.
Show him your unconditional love. Many women fall for and marry men with the idea they can “fix him.” Over time, this results in constant badgering of a man to change, which wreaks havoc on his romantic feelings. Learn to accept your partner’s shortcomings, and love him unconditionally, and you’ll likely see your man’s romantic side shine through.
Spoon with him. Cuddle with your man before you fall asleep and when you wake up. It’ll make you both happier and improve your relationship because it releases endorphins, particularly oxytocin, the love hormone.
Tell him you love him in a deep and meaningful way. During a romantic moment, tell him, “You’re my soul mate,” “I want to be with you forever,” “You make my life whole,” or whatever it is you honestly feel for him.
Give him a massage. Even men enjoy getting pampered. Give him a foot or back massage, or have him strip down for a full body treatment. Massage is also another way to increase oxytocin and improve the romance in your relationship.
Books on relationships and keeping the romance alive
For more ways to make him fall in love all over again and to keep the romance in your relationship alive, consider some of the following books.
The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples Chrisanna Northrup, Pepper Schwartz, James Witte
Rekindling the Romance: Loving the Love of Your Life Dennis Rainey, Barbara Rainey
Rekindling Romance for Dummies Sabine Walter, Pierre A. Lehu
The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives Lewis Howes
by Kimberly Blaker
Posted: February 8, 2018
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